Tips for an Awesome Threesome – should there be a protocol? Or not?
“Ye menge a trois”, remains one of the most popular sex tricks to add to your bucket list.
A threesome is not a male-orientated fantasy that pop culture has made it out to be. There are plenty of women who want to initiate it and, and they set the rules too. You’re not ordering pizza, after all!
You want a threesome? Say, ” I want to have a threesome” . There is no reason to try and be polite. Be open and honest about what you want, don’t dither about it. Get it together and let it ride.
Once you have suggested it, let it be.
I am going to be personal here. My personal experience – I decided to go up to a woman, she had been singing on the stage. She had a grungy look about her. I just walked up to her, kissed her on the mouth and said…” I want to have a threesome” and that was it.
I was not specific. I did not really think it through, besides the joint shower and the soapy love up. Nobody followed and nobody lead. It just evolved.
Expect there to be moments of awkwardness. Being in a grounded relationship allows for there to be no hiccups, but rather, a whole lot of fun.
Who Takes the Lead?
You are all aiming to sexually please and be pleasured. Take it in your stride. Break the ice if you have to.
But then again, the more you try and figure it out and discuss it, the further away it idea fades. So go with it and let it happen.
Boundaries?
Yes. It could be no penetrative sex, no cumming, or no tongue, blah blah. But in the moment the reality of it does in fact, not really figure.
It does not unfold like a porn movie where everyone is locked together, banging each other or heads lost between thighs. That does not really happen in real life.
But talk about it out loud so you wont ruin it, but rather ensure that whatever you feel you want will happen and have absolutely no expectations. You are not on a porn set. (Just don’t tape yourselves).
Take your threesome desires seriously.
Which is really just a nicer way of saying, if a threesome is something you really want, think hard about being in a monogamous relationship with someone who doesn’t want to have threesomes.
Your sexuality and sexual wants aren’t frivolous! So we date equally open-minded people when it comes to things like politics and social issues, so why not do the same for sex?
Ground Rules.
Consent. Honestly let that be the first basic rule. Give everyone the space to feel comfortable in what they want or will not allow.
Condoms. Condoms and more condoms. Obviously that is a prerequisite. A lot of lube or oral glide is always a good idea to have on hand.
Sex Toys
Now this is where I think some shattered ideals may come into play. Me, personally, I don’t share my sex toys. If a sex toy is going to be used. Bring your own, use a disposable cock ring with a vibrator for extra fun. General rule of thumb? No sex toy sharing! But go wild with flavoured lubes, oral glides and massage oils and candles.
Will the “third party or Unicorn” sleep over? Well, I honestly don’t think that, that can be determined during the fact.
Get Out of your Head.
This should be a lot of fun and laughter. If you are indeed in a monogamous relationship, hopefully you will have set a few ground rules well before the fact and it would be something that you lay chatting about before falling asleep on a random night after too many glasses of red wine or one to many tequilas. No surprises there. So let it flow. You know what you want.
Allow space for after- care.
Allow yourselves to bathe in the afterglow. There may be a silence, then a giggle, and perhaps everyone will fall effortlessly into each other.
Run a bath, take turns or you and your partner hop in and spend sometime together. Offer the other person the same care. Remember that this was a mutual decision and there should be no room for jealousy or awkwardness.
When you are with the right partner and there is clarity with each other, a good threesome can be a way to explore different aspects of our relationship or to reignite a deep connection and trust with your partner.
