Let’s talk about lust.
What is Lust?
Lust is the feeling of strong sexual attraction or desire for another person. Lust is what keeps passion alive in a long term relationship.
Lust boosts chemicals in the brain like testosterone, pheromones and androgens, all pivotal in our natural biological and human instinct to procreate.
It is highly essential to explore lust in order to explore sexual boundaries, fantasies and the natural flow of intimacy and sexuality.
We explore lust and what it is not, how, if at all it compares to love. How to explore lust in a healthy manner and know the potential pitfalls of it.
Lust vs Love
“The best indicator is that feelings of love from an emotional place. This means that having sex does NOT need to be the reason you spend time with someone” Erica F Zajac
This is important that we realise this and know that your true nature is at your command.
Love at first site? Or Lust at first sight? You know when you feel that sudden . Is it love at first sight? Hardly. The two concepts are totally different.
Can They Co-Exist?
Yes. Indeed they can. Starting out in a new relationship, invariably starts as an initial fleeting meeting or brief touching etc. This is a natural phenomena. Attraction is based on sexual desire. Or Lust.
We are to a host of dating platforms where couples chat for days and late into the night. Share pictures of themselves and obviously it does get heated and certainly a bit under the belt. Is it love? Is there potential for a lasting, loving relationship. Probably not. The attraction is there it is lust. And remember: “Th Pen is Mightier than the Sword” . Live by these words. Dating platforms are an elegant evil, (what I call them). Love potiential is there… Until you meet in the physical – if you ever do. Mind you I believe the percentage of online dating apps and the success thereof, are slim.
It is LUST and that is what triggers all those feel good emotions and waiting and wanting to hear from the significant other.
Lust is a healthy emotion. It is neither wrong or right. It is how the persons express in a healthy or unhealthy manner.
To figure it out decide on whether it is based on behaviour or the actual feelings itself.
How Would I know?
Do you have physical sensations when you look at the person?
Lust is primarily about the physical excitement and craving the other person, you may get palpitations and feel the rush of endorphins at the slightest touch and certainly cant stop fantasising about them.
By contrast, if you are discussing the other person with family, offer and receive emotional support; you are integrating them into your life and that is a fine walk to love.
However, if this is not a mutual feeling, then start to disengage.
It’s not easy to determine if someone is feeling the same feelings as you are, and more so, when intimacy has been involved. Our world is very fractured and self preservation is essential.
Lust is Healthy
Lust is very healthy, so if the time and feelings are right and above all mutual. Hell yes! Act on it.
Always consider the other persons, be up front and let it be a mutual decision. The must be NO miscommunication. Be honest and transparent in your actions.
Lust is a common and natural biological reaction that has the potential to offer a myriad of benefits. Act with self respect and respect to the other person, realise that if there is a relationship, a quick one night lusting night can shatter it.
- Navigate your lust carefully.
- Practice safe sex
- Always have mutual consent
- Respect must be mutual
- It is very normal to lust and not love
